(via bluedogeyes)
people around me are always throwing the word “weird” around.
oh I’m so weird.
sorry this is weird.
haha I’m just weird.
but this is always taken as a good kind of weird. like the zooey daschenel quirky awkward weird. the weird that likes cats, sleeps at strange times, spontaneously breaks out in song.
but really we just fit into the acceptable norms of what is weird and what is normal.
i guess i don’t want to be weird; i want to be strange or odd. i want to be irregular, imperfect, broken, deformed. i want to be the different that elicits a raised eyebrow or confused glance rather than a smile of understanding.
i want to actually be unique and meet unique people.
i want to meet somebody brave. somebody who likes to think. someone who challenges everything that i take for granted.
i want to be fascinated by someone who is truly weird.
but I’m constrained by norms that i am too blind to see or too afraid to break. and so i here imagining rather than acting. i am the most frustrating person in my life and i can never fully come to terms with that.
so tired.
trying to get this goddam paper done but i have no motivation and i don’t want to do it.
what is wrong with me?
i should be churning out words like laura ingals wilder churned butter, but instead i have a massive writers block. make that several blocks. okay maybe like all of manhattan blocks.
point is. I’m tired and incoherent and lonely and annoyed and totally ADD.
And maybe this is but a lucid dream
And what fine dawn will greet me when I wake
Such damned illusions are not what they seem
But a nightmare that flees when comes daybreak
Alas I’m too trapped here and can’t break free
Shackled deep in the prison of my mind
A madness growing too quickly to see
Spreading through darkness and leaving me blind
But in a sleep safe I’m wary to rise
My daily torture comfort as routine
This pain the best for mental exercise
As much a treasured friend as cruelest fiend
If reality be a paradise
I choose to dream since words need pain as vice
We are passing through the darkening of the light.
We’re gonna make it and we’re going to make it together.
Don’t get ground down by cynicism.
Don’t let depression darken the glass through which you look.
This is a garden we live in.
A garden seeded with unconditional love.
And the tears of the oppressed,
and the tears of the frustrated,
and the tears of the good will spring those seeds.
The flag has been waved.
It says occupy.
Occupy Wall Street.
Occupy the banks.
Occupy the nursing homes.
Occupy Congress.
Occupy the big law offices.
Occupy the lobbyists.
Occupy…yourself.
Because that’s were it all comes together.
I pledge to you, from this moment on, whatever it means, I’m going to occupy myself.
I love you.
See ya tomorrow."
just found out scar from lion king is gay.
my film professor said it so nonchalantly too.
my life is a lie.
the soundtrack is perfect.
goddam makes me upset that my high school life was nothing like that.
greatest years of my life? fucking joke.
it wasn’t it was cruel and harsh. it was just so empty, repetitive and empty. boredom is the slowest death.
but yes. the soundtrack was good, as was the movie.
